by: Emma Aguirre

Someone very close to me asked me this weekend when I became “all super-over-protective”. I thought I had always been that way with people I love. I am passionate about everything I do and the people I love most. But then I came to realize a few things. I’d never needed to be “super-over-protective” until now when the situation called for it, but I have no doubt that the feeling was intensified because I’m a mom now. My mamma-bear instinct is in full swing, and the second
someone messes with my cubs, my claws seem to come out.

I never really saw myself as a mom growing up. I was awkward around infants and before my daughter was born, I can think of at least two occasions where I broke out in hives when just talking about pregnancy and babies with friends. But then I fell in love, got married and finally, a dream of becoming a mother appeared and I heard the clock ticking. With all the feelings of love and joy and fear (at times!) that a child brings, I’ve noticed that I also have developed an intense feeling of wanting to set an example for my daughter and do the right thing. I made a vow to start saying how I really feel recently and I haven’t backed down from that, both for the good and bad. I want to be strong and stand up for what’s right in the world. I want to help more and volunteer. My entire sense of caring has deepened. The mom-instinct is so much more than just knowing what your baby needs by the sound of their cries. It’s all of these things rolled together that really make you a fierce force to be reckoned with at times.

I know my daughter is going to fall and hurt herself as a toddler. I know she’s going to get her heart broken as a teen. But I don’t know how I’ll be able to calm the mamma-bear instinct. I had a hard enough time containing it this weekend and it was someone else’s child being hurt. I recognized the problem and something hasn’t been sitting well with me for a couple of weeks in this situation. I knew it was about to come to a head. I sensed it. Having a baby has really sharpened those intuitive instincts I always knew were in me but I never really had to pay too much attention to until now. It’s helped me grow a backbone and stand up for what I believe is right and wrong, and it’s really all for her.