by: Kimberly C. Bowman
Throughout our lives, friends play an extremely important role. They are the first family we actually seek to become a member of as we move from our parents to independence. While we mature, our friends come and go and we demand different things from them. When you become a mother friends are of the utmost importance as they are our comrades, our sisters, our commiserate-ors, our posses. They are the beacons in our darkness.
Motherhood can be an extremely isolating experience. Despite a cadre of family and other children and of course, lest we forget them, our dear husbands, no one really understands what it is like besides other women doing the same thing. We may cry with our mates, share with our mothers and tell strangers more than they want to know but the women who tell us we’re idiots when we smack our shins on the dishwasher and laugh at us and who make us wear the clothes that look good on us because we can’t be trusted to dress ourselves, these are the ones who catch us when we falter. These are your mother elephants, surrounding you in a circle of fierceness when the world descends.
If you move to a new city, or go from being a working woman to a stay at home mom one of the first things on your to-do list should be to seek out other moms. Where are they? Go to the parks, the recreation centers, the cafes. Many communities have mom groups, as do religious congregations, libraries and book stores. Most gyms and the YMCA also have child-care as part of a membership. This is an excellent way to stay healthy, get a bit of a break from your little princess and meet other moms trying to stay in shape.
When babies are born they are difficult to converse with. When they start talking, you will only get to listen. When they go to school, they won’t talk to you anymore but they won’t listen either. When your children are a large part of life, as they should be, you need someone to talk to. The fact of the matter is hubby just doesn’t get how funny it is that when you happened to glance over at the driver next to you, it was apparent that they were watching you get your groove on while you cranked up some Nelly in the minivan. Seek new friends. Reconnect with the old ones. Surround yourself with their energy and their take, but mostly bask in the light of their give.
Looking for an opportunity to meet new moms? Try out a mom and baby yoga class.