By Heather Chambers
At a time when so much is going on in your life during pregnancy, birth and postpartum, your family will come into their own as a much needed safety net and sometimes just as a shoulder to cry on. Unfortunately, in the current economic climate, many of us have to move where the work is and don’t have the luxury of Mom and Dad living just down the road, on hand to help out whenever we want. However far away they are, the support of your family and friends will still be just as valuable from afar. Even if all they can do is lend a sympathetic ear and stop you from going completely insane!
To make the most of those who can’t be with you in your time of need, there’s some practical things you can do to help them feel more involved and more connected to you and your growing family. By helping your family understand what you’re going through, you can enable them to be more supportive and provide more relevant advice. Here’s our guide to keeping your support network in the loop….
· Take advantage of the time difference! Whether in another state or across the world, chances are the time difference between you and your folks can work to your advantage, like while breastfeeding at 2am. Who else can you call for a chat at that time in the morning? Suddenly those time zones are coming in handy! If you get confused, set a different clock to their time zone so you can see at a glance what time it is where they are.
· Save on the cost of communicating. By using an internet phone service like Vonage you can set up a local number which allows people to call you for the price of a local call wherever they are, even internationally! See the Vonage website for more details. Plus, your family don’t need to be online to use the virtual number. To them it works just like calling a land-line down the road.
· Let them see you as often as possible. As much as you try to describe the size of your growing bump and the size of your maternity clothes, nothing beats seeing it close up. Use internet video calling, like the free service available from Skype to add a visual to your conversations. All you need is a computer and a webcam each and you’re ready to go. If you want to get really technical, newer televisions can be set up as a monitor for your PC so you can get a bigger picture of what’s going on at home - great for occasions like Thanksgiving when everyone’s there together.
· Keep a blog. Personal blogs like the ones you can set up on blogger.com are another free way of keeping the family up to date. Blogs are a great place to post the latest photos and quick updates on what’s happening. They help the family feel included and give them a chance to participate by posting comments. You can keep it simple, or add widgets to enhance your page. For example, ours includes a local time clock and a calendar with upcoming events on it. Take a look at it here. Family offline? Send them an annual of your blog for Christmas by using a ‘blog to book’ service like Blog2Print.
· Fly them over. Although this is by far the most expensive option, you can keep a handle on costs by using a fare tracker like the one from Side Step. Sites like these can flag up when prices are at their lowest for your chosen route, allowing you to buy your tickets at the best price possible. Often, the cheaper fares are when there is a low demand for business flights which will most likely be ideal for retired grandparents.
By taking the initiative around keeping in touch, you and your partner can make it easier for your family to help you though the tough times ahead and to share in your happiness, strengthening those family ties no matter how far away they are. A little effort goes a long way, but don’t forget to look for the support which is all around you at the same time. Your friends who live locally will also want to help and there’s always the support groups at The Motherhood Center to help you. Tuesdays and Thursday’s New and Expecting Mom’s Discussion Group is a great place to meet other Moms and share your worries.
By Heather Chambers
